Third time's the charm, right? The Baudelaire children really hope so, as Mr. Poe takes them to their new guardian, Aunt Josephine. Though she is a kind woman with excellent grammar, she makes the Cowardly Lion look like Batman. Among her long list of fears are doorknobs shattering, the stove bursting into flames, and being electrocuted by the telephone. It's no wonder that the children have serious doubts about her abilities to protect them if Count Olaf turns up again.
Favorite Quote: "There are two kinds of fears: rational and irrational...The Baudelaire orphans have a fear of Count Olaf, which makes perfect sense, because he is an evil man who wants to destroy them. But if they were afraid of lemon meringue pie, this would be an irrational fear, because lemon meringue pie is delicious and has never hurt a soul."
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